Guidelines For Planning A Marriage Service

The preceding discussion underscores the main elements to be symbolized and therefore included in a Christian wedding service. When woven together after careful planning, they create a service that follows the general outline described below.

The Entrance Procession The Entrance procession at a wedding is a form of the Entrance procession of the ministers at Sunday worship. Since the marrying couple are the ministers of marriage, they should walk together in this procession, preceded by the best man and the maid of honor, their parents, and the presiding church minister. The long-traditional wedding procession in which the bride enters with her father, preceded by her bridesmaids, to be handed over to her husband, derives from a time when a marriage was the transfer of a woman from the legal authority of her father to that of her husband. Since few brides, hopefully few couples, see marriage in this light today, this traditional procession is best replaced by the ministerial procession that has been described. An Opening Prayer Most marriage services offer options from which the couple, in consultation with the presiding minister, can choose prayers which highlight that their marriage is not only a civil but more especially a religious and Christian ceremony. Scripture Readings and Explanatory Sermon Again, most marriage services offer a selection of marriage-related Old and New Testament readings, from which a couple may select those that best speak the Word of God to their marriage. There is need today, I feel, to make a special plea for the reading of Ephesians 5:21–32 properly understood and explained. This is a text which underscores the covenantal and sacramental dimensions of Christian marriage; it is also a text which is regularly scorned by contemporary women because of the offensive phrase "?the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church?" (v. 23). The text is offensive when one focuses on the words "?the husband is the head of the wife.?" The true Christian focus, however, falls on "?as (that is, in the same way as,) Christ is head of the church.?" How Christ is head of the church needs to be carefully explained in a sermon. He is head, not in the manner of a divine-right monarch or master, but as a servant (cf. Mark 10:45; Matt. 23:11; Luke 22:26). A Christian husband is called to be head of his wife by being her radical servant, and she is summoned to be his radical servant. Mutual service, in imitation of the Christ they confess as Lord, is not an idea Christian spouses should ever scorn. The Exchange of Consent The exchange of consent, as already explained, is the central and essential part of the ceremony and should, therefore, be planned in order to achieve careful clarity. Since the wedding ring symbolizes unbroken fidelity to the marital promises and since the marriage ceremony emphasizes the equal call and obligation of both spouses to remain faithful, the exchange of rings has become a common practice and is a better symbol than the former tradition of giving a single ring to the bride. Concluding Rites The ceremony concludes with a blessing of the new spouses and of the children that may be born from their union. There should also be some praise of and thanksgiving to the Trinitarian God who is at the center of their marriage. Again, there are options here from which the spouses may choose to give the ceremony their own Christian stamp.