Keeping Tabs: A Drama For Use In A Seekers' Service

The following sketch portrays a scene from everyday life involving a character who cannot accept a gift without wanting to pay it back. This sketch would appropriately be followed with a message on the mystery God's grace.

[Setting: Dan is sitting on a sofa reading a newspaper.] Nancy: (entering) Oh, Dan. Dan: Oh, what? Nancy:Are you busy right now? Dan: (dropping paper) Depends. Why? Nancy: I thought today would be a good time to start planning your birthday party. Dan: (back to paper) I'm busy. Nancy: Dan. Dan: Nancy, it's not for two months. Nancy: I know. That's why we need to get started on it now. Dan: Couldn't we just go out for a quiet dinner this year? Nancy: Just the two of us? Dan: Sorry, I must have lost my head for a moment. Nancy: Oh, it's not that. It's just … Well, you know, we have to have a party. Dan: Why? Nancy: Because … well, take the Millers, for example. Dan: For an example of what? Nancy: Do you realize that we have been invited to their home six times in the last year? Dan: So? Nancy: So we've only had them here four times. Dan: So? Nancy: So we owe them. Dan: Nancy, I really don't think they're keeping track. Nancy: And then on top of that Linda calls me at least once a week. Dan: What's wrong with that? I thought you liked her. Nancy: I do, but I hardly ever call her. Dan: Well, so? Nancy: It makes me feel guilty. I don't like someone being so nice to me when I'm not as nice to them. And her calls just rub it in. Dan: Nancy, don't you think you're being just a little neurotic? Nancy: No. You know how people are. They keep tabs on things like invitations, gifts, and phone calls. And I'm telling you if we don't start catching up here, we're going to lose them. Dan: Will you listen to yourself? You're talking as if we have to buy our friends. Nancy: Not buy them, just stay even or get ahead. So, you see, that's why we have to have a party. Dan: To pay back the Millers? Nancy: Not just the Millers. The Whites, the Langstones, the Addisons. Dan: And what do we "owe" the Addisons? Nancy: Oh, honestly. Have you no cells in your brain? Don't you remember what they gave us for Christmas two years ago? Dan: Silly me, but no, I don't. Nancy: (gets a computer printout form from an end table or on floor next to sofa) All right, I'll show you. Dan: What the heck is that? Nancy: It's a computer printout showing what people have given us in the last few years. Dan: (looking at it) You've got this alphabetized … Nancy: And categorized. You see, in this column I have their name and a number which represents the number of times we've been invited to their house. I've also entered the gifts they gave us, along with the food they served. Now, over here in this column it lists the number of times we've had them here, our menu, and the gifts we gave them. Dan: Nancy, this is ridiculous. I've never heard of anyone keeping an account like this. Nancy: Well, maybe not like this, but people have it all in their heads, I guarantee you. Now look at this, Dan. Look at the number of blanks in our column compared to everyone else. See the Addisons here: three times … ribs, turkey, filet … napkin rings. Us: nothing. The Langstones: five times … roast pig, shish kebabs, steak, steak, steak … silver goblets! Us: burgers and a deck of cards. I am so embarrassed. Dan: (referring to her neurosis) You should be. Nancy: How are we going to pay all these people back? Dan: We're not going to. Nancy: What? Dan: Honey, when someone has us over and gives us a gift, they do it because they want to. Nancy: Oh, Dan, grow up! Nothing is given without expecting something in return. There are always strings attached. So, I've come up with an idea that I think should take care of our problems. Dan: You set up an appointment to see a therapist? Nancy: Dan, I'm serious. Dan: So am I. (doorbell rings) Nancy: I'll get it. (she exits) Dan: (picking up printout) I don't believe this. What difference does it make? I mean, look at this … half this stuff we've sold at garage sales. Nancy: (entering) Well, for heaven's sake, Dan, look at this. I got flowers. I wonder who they're from? Oh, here's the card. "To a terrific person." (pause) There's no name. There's no name? Dan: Must be a secret admirer. Nancy: Well, there has to be some mistake. I'll just call the florist. Dan: Why? Nancy: To see who sent them. Dan: Why do you have to know? Nancy: So I can return "the favor." Dan: (getting angry) Nancy, will you get a hold of yourself? Someone sent you flowers simply because they like you, because they think you're a "terrific person." Why can't you just accept that? Nancy: (pause, we think he's getting through, then … ) I bet it was Lois. It would be just like her to do something like this. Dan: Nancy, you're not listening to me. Nancy: Well, I'll just call the florist. Dan: Ok, I sent them. Nancy: Oh, you did not! Dan: I did so. Nancy: Why? Dan: Because I love you. Nancy: Don't be ridiculous! Dan: (growing angrier) Nancy, I'll show you the receipt. I've got it in my wallet. Nancy: (taken aback) You sent them? Dan: Yeah. Sorry to disappoint you. Nancy: (pause, cocky) All right, let's hear it. What do you want? Dan: Nothing. Nancy: Nothing. You never send me flowers. You must be after something. Dan: I'm not "after" anything … (tenderly) except maybe you. Nancy: Oh, so that's it! Dan: I give up. I try to do something special for my wife because I love her and she doesn't trust me. Nancy: (looking through printout) Williams, Williams. Here we are. Dan Williams. Dan: You've got me in there too? Nancy: Well, of course. Dan: Forget it, forget it. (grabs flowers) I'm throwing these things out. Nancy: Dan, don't be ridiculous. Dan: (totally exasperated) Ridiculous. I'm not ridiculous. I just don't want you to feel obligated to "return the favor," to "even the score." I give you something simply because I love you. Nancy: And I love you too, hon. I was just surprised, that's all. Now, come on, how about if you put these beautiful flowers in some water for me … please? Dan: But … Nancy: Please? Dan: (very reluctant) Oh, all right. (pause) But I'm only doing it … Both: "Because I love you." Nancy: I know. (He leaves. She waits until he's gone, then goes back to printout.) Dan Williams. (writing) Flowers. June 14, 1993. Occasion: (pause, looking out, reflective) Because he loves me. [Note: The way she says the last "Because he loves me" gives the impression that maybe she has understood Dan's point.] [Fadeout]