Mentoring - Reaching Before And Behind

Dan Wilt, talks about the fine art of mentoring a worship leader.

To Mentor, And Be Mentored

Here is the cold, hard fact, for men and women alike. We all need healthy mentoring relationships to remain healthy ourselves, and no effective spiritual leader (in any MegaRole or MicroRole) is an island. Every influencer (whether a parent or a president) needs someone by our side who has no vested interest in our success or failure at a task or job, and is therefore unafraid to ask even the most difficult of questions. Every leader needs someone who will incisively address our hidden heart, challenge our silent motivations, and direct us to intimacy with Jesus in a gracious and living way. In our generation, Christian leaders around the globe are beginning to embrace the role Church history denotes as the "spiritual director" – seasoned friends on the journey who are singularly committed to helping us to develop as followers of Jesus. Not only do we need spiritual directors and spiritual friends, but we all need to bring guidance to others on the journey as well. Many spiritual leaders reach an apparently devotional or positional goal, and then decide to isolate and remain "on top and in the lead" with a tight grip. God is looking for men and women who will rise to the task of doing their duty on the stairs reaching both ahead and behind. If you are a good postmodern, and the stair analogy breaks down for you with its language of higher and lower (a metaphor has its limitations; the stairs represent experience, not position), think in terms of a completed circle of people walking hand in hand. Certain parts of the circle are walking on terrain on which others desire to walk. Reaching behind enables us to lead someone to a place where someone else has led us – and to do so in a rich circle of growing friendship and family.

Reaching For Our Next Worship Leaders

I decided long ago that I have no desire to do this worship leading thing alone. It's boring to be self-centered, I want to cultivate more friendships, I get tired more quickly as I get older, and I'm not good enough to cover all of the unique traits our community needs in its worship leaders. Raising up effective worship leaders, both spiritually and practically, is both a relational and functional task that must continually be a part of our leadership activity. Here are a few tips on how to facilitate the growth of a younger, or less experienced lead worshiper. We don't need to be at the top of stairs to guide another – we just need to reach behind us as well as ahead.

Co-Lead With Them

When we co-lead with a worship leader in front of our community, we give them credibility before the congregation. This ongoing experience enables you to prepare, lead and de-brief together in real time. Give them songs familiar to the community to lead for six months to a year, just one or two a set, so the congregation learns to trust them. Allow them to catch your values through shared experience.

Spend Time With Them

If the leader is of the same sex, spend time with them doing spiritually important activities like watching a movie, eating food, laughing hard and listening well. If they are the opposite sex, involve others, and do the same kinds of things. Today, I have the great privilege of seeing good friends, male and female, in whose journey as a creative leader I have participated. They are artists and worship leaders in a wide range of roles, and they are leading and mentoring others as they remain faithful to their calling. Time well spent together resulted in a lasting friendship, and a model they could follow. Today, I reap the fruit as much as they, and we love one another deeply.

Take Your Time With Them

There is no rush. As C.S. Lewis suggested, it is not that difficult circumstances give us character, but rather, they reveal the character that is already present. Give a worship leader a little bit of leading room over a long period of time. The issues of pride and identity are dealt with as you take the slow and steady route with a new worship leader, and in the end, they will be grateful for your pace.

Share Input With Them

When you lead together, help them to choose songs, and show them how you organize the set. Assume that you actually know something about worship leading, and give confident guidance to their unique style. In dialogue, hammer out the nuances of a set without "leaving them to chance." They need some direction from your experience. Then, give them room to experiment as time goes on.

Share Friends With Them

Expose them to your mentors via meals, seminars, concerts or media. Set up times for others, like the pastor, to comment on their heart, style and skill growth. When you can, introduce them to leaders who have influenced you, either in person or via other means. When your friends become theirs, mentoring becomes a community process that accomplishes more than you could on your own.

Give Gifts To Them

Take a year, and put generosity into your budget. When you have it in your power, buy gear or music items for the creative leader you are mentoring – gifts that remind them of their personal importance to you and the investment you're willing to make in their long haul leadership journey. When you can, send them for theological, creative and leadership development. You won't regret deepening both the thinking and feeling of your charge – in fact, it will deepen you and your community in the process.

Give Hope to Them

Celebrate the hard process of growth and maturation with the new worship leader. Honestly, but lovingly, point them toward faithfulness above today's multi-colored versions of "success." It is hardly possible to overdo encouragement, if it is authentic and honest. It is, however, possible to underdo encouragement. When you put in deposits into their emotional account, it is much easier when you need to make a withdrawal in time, energy or relationship. Remember that it is easy for a young worship leader to become disheartened. Give "heart" to the one holding your hand, temper proud hearts with loving and clear honesty without letting go, and then entrust the worship leaders development to God in regular, committed prayer.